I have to laugh at that title, because I woke up extremely groggy, and a bit blurg, so I’m hoping that posting these tips for staying fresh and cool will snap me out of my…daze.
5. Buy some fresh flowers for your work, home, friends.
4. Add a few drops of peppermint essential oil to your water. It also helps with stomach aches that way too! One more tip, for headaches: you can rub a drop into each temple and it washes away the pain!! Peppermint rocks my world!!
3. Use parsley. Yes, the herb that is usually just hanging out, taking up space on your plate at a restaurant. Make sure it doesn’t have any grease on it and drop it in your glass. It infuses your glass with its herby-richness and when you’re done with the meal, chew on a sprig; it helps freshen breath.
2. Mist mist mist. Cheaper than a bottle of Evian Skin Care Brumisateur (atomizer) I really like doing this. Even doing it yourself, you can transport yourself to a lounge chair next to the pool, with someone fanning you and another giving you a back rub while feeding you grapes.
1. Wet Wipes. I love them because you can keep them stashed in your purse and when you become “inelegant,” you can wipe them across your brow for a cooling and pleasant-smelling sweat control.
Fruit Pizza! There are few things better than Fruit Pizza on a hot-ass summer day. This simplest of simple recipes is always a big hit at the parties I bring it to, and I usually have to snag a piece early in the party to save for later or they’re all gone! A word to the wise though, cut the bananas at the very last moment. Even though they are still perfectly good for quite some time, people get weirded out by brown banana slices.
What you’ll need:
- pizza baking sheet. They have one-time use aluminum ones in your grocer’s baking aisle, but I found that if you buy a permanent one, it can motivate you or your significant other to make other scrumptious circular delights.
-already-made sugar cookie dough roll, because it fits perfectly on a pizza baking sheet
- your favorite fruits. I usually go with the crowd favorites strawberries, raspberries, blueberries and bananas. If I want to make people try new things, I slice up the tiniest bit of mango, kiwi and and star fruit.
- whipped cream. I usually just buy plain ol’ Cool Whip because it’s fast, but according to your dietary needs, you can always use soy-whip, or the real deal.
1. Preheat your oven and soften your cookie dough a little bit. I like to do this as soon as I take the cookie dough out of the fridge, or else I forget. If your dough is too hard/frozen/in a block, stick it on the back part of the stovetop, where the heat escapes, for JUST A LITTLE WHILE. I do not recommend leaving it there for an unspecified amount of time because the smell of burning plastic does not mix well with fruit, cream and sugar cookie.
2. Spray the pizza pan with non-stick cooking spray (lightly) and spread the cookie doughover the entire pizza pan. Do not knead the dough, just work it into a flat, pizza-like crust.
3. Toss in oven for specified amount of time. I usually keep checking on it after the 10 minute mark to make sure it doesn’t burn.
4. While it is cooking, be slicing up your fruit. Small, easy-to-nibble pieces. Do not try to choke friends and loved ones.
5. Cool cookie dough. I cannot strees enough that this giant sugar cookie must completely cool down before you slather on the whipped cream. It will melt and become clearish, resulting in a ruined fruit pizza. People will cry. Children will point and scream “dear God what is that thing?” I’m sorry to put The Fear into you, but if it will make you wait, my job is done.
6. Slather on the whipped cream and place fruit. Put just enough cream to cover the dough; putting too much will negate the somewhat healthiness of this dessert. I usually place the fruit in a pattern, but break the rules: make one slice just blueberries, another strawberries only. Spell the name of a friend, lover, or favorite pet. Or throw the slices on the ‘za with reckless abandon. Whatever you wish.
For some reason I got a tsunami wave of white ideas flowing over me. Maybe it’s because in the summer when it’s 95 degrees at 1:30 in the morning, it’s too hot to wear anything but white. Maybe it’s because I flipped through one of my ideabooks and realized it’s filled. Which means I get to go buy a new one, and since they come in two packs – double the crisp, white pages of endless possibilities and LISTS.
Well anywho, here are the top 5 white things on my mind (having nothing to do with with people):
5. Amazing toothbrush holder- okay, technically this little cutie is off-white, but I love sarcastic anthropomorphized objects.
perfect for lounging around the house on Sundays, or keepin it cool by rolling a pack of cigs into the sleeve like a greaser, or, as I am planning, making a bunch of random, ridiculous t-shirts. You saw my first attempt, but prepare to be amazed and laugh at the second.
They remind me of my grandma, toiling in the kitchen of her beautiful vintage house, making tortillas, enchiladas and beans all while entertaining everyone with hilarious stories that go nowhere. I need to find one and DIY it to fit.
2. “Clean Slate” Keds
Oh my goodness, don’t these just scream with possibility? You could dye them to match your favorite purple summer dress, or have your friends write their favorite quotes on them. White=white for not very long in my book!
In homage to my friend’s titular UFC fight-calling, I thought I would do my own, since I have become very engrossed in this sport.
So, here are my predictions. Yes, I have done some extensive homework about the fighters, but sometimes it really boils down to nicknames and past activities. So here goes:
LightweightsMatt Grice and Shannon Gugerty start the 100-ball rolling. Both of these guys have the grappling and wrestling areas down pat, so this bout is going to be taken to the floor and sorted out there. My guess is that the kids’ jiu-jitsu trainer (Gugerty) will put on a good show, but the OK City Police Officer (Grice) will take home the win.
This will be an interesting bout. CB “Doberman” Dollaway v. Tom “The Filthy Mauler” Lawlor. As much as I would like to root for the hometown (Tempe, AZ) boy, Lawlor had a wicked beard at the end of TUF, so that alone gives him a leg up. Also, when I read that a Doberman has an “overdeveloped sense of justice,” (I can’t remember the source, and I think I added that it was overdeveloped. -Ed.) I can only think of him being a baby. Life isn’t always fair, justice isn’t always in the Octagon. A couple more tidbits: Lawlor also taught as a high school history teacher and dressed up as a Care Bear for Halloween.
In the Stun Gun Kim – TJ Grant fight, I am really skeptical. Grant loves to push the fights and become very aggressive, which might surprise Stun Gun enough to get a little crazy and sloppy with his hands. It might leave him open to some wicked knees and could be a turning point in a round. Of course I am still rooting and hoping for a win for Stun Gun, Korea’s hero – he’s got a solid judo background and a strategic mind. But I will keep both eyes on the Crazy Eyes of TJ Grant.
In the story of Jon Jones versus Jake O’Brien, it will be who wants to shock more. Bones Jones, being just 21 and MMA training for only 14 months, seems like he is catapulting himself into the definition of “upset.” He could be setting himself up to be have a rude awakening. However, with Bones being the favorite and the expectations and pressures that go along with that, O’Brien says he feels freer and gives him more leeway to deliver surprising aggression and take it to the floor. His aggressive style might not save him this time, though. Beware the Bones!
Bones flips off Irish O’Brien for the last time.
Mac Danzig v. Jim Miller
First off, I heart anyone who makes me think of this song. Second, he has an amazing eye for photography, and I just might have to have a piece of Danzig art in my house. Third, he named his daughter Nova because he is obsessed with astronomy. This guy is well-rounded inside and outside the ring, has enough experience to know what to expect, and has been known to be extremely precise in his beatings. This could be a fight that shows Danzig is good enough to stick around, but Jim Miller is not a pushover opponent. Miller understands and trains for something that a lot of fighters deem unimportant: cardio. I have seen quite a few fights where that six-letter word has kicked a fighter’s ass and cost them a win. Miller has some great submissions behind him, but I’m still pulling for MMA Sagan.
Glenn, my now 2nd favorite Danzig
The Mark Coleman – Stephan Bonnar fight might be the one I’m least excited about seeing. I know ‘The Hammer’ has been training and actually hired trainers this time, and says he’s in great shape, but as he said himself:
“There’s no quit in Stephan Bonnar.” It’s going to be a war until one is pulled off another. They don’t call Bonnar “The American Psycho” because he likes Huey Lewis and the News. His stable hands and well-executed strikes will definitely be a problem for The Hammer, standing up or on the ground.
Bonnar sure does love a good chardonnay while beating people up.
You always have to have a well-marketed villain. Yoshihiro Akiyama definitely fills that spot. His dichotomy of love/hate viewers will be a huge draw in the Eastern world -along with Stun Gun- which could prove to be a great marketing strategy for the UFC. He’s also got the powerful punches and judo training to counter Alan “The Talent” Belcher’s experience. But I can’t get behind a guy with as shady a past as “Sexyama.”
Dan Henderson v. Michael Bisping
Hollywood Henderson and The Count will be a great fight. Bisping beat out DANIEL CRAIG as “Coolest Man in the UK” last year. He has been training and/or fighting in some form since he was 8. He’s like a little Liverpudlian Spartan. But Hendo also has a great pedigree, including Olympian-grade wrestling tactics. I really can’t decide who wants to prove themselves more, but from watching the pre-fight shows, it looks like the Count has definitely done his homework.
I promise I will not make any “down for the Count” jokes. Okay, maybe one.
Jon Fitch v. Paulo Thiago
This one might be a toughie, so we’ll weigh everything here. Thiago has been training in judo since the age of 5, he’s in Special Ops Police in Brazil, and he has incredible luck (see magical KO at 7:22 in this videoagainst Josh Koscheck). But all those things can’t save him from Fitch’s heart. He doesn’t know the meaning of “quit,” or “weak leg kick,” for that matter. Fitch will tenderize him like a steak.
Arianny v. Edith- Yes, ring girls are in a fight too. Whether they are aware of it or not. It is mainly for audience applause, so it really is up to the alcohol and confidence levels in the crowd. But I’m rooting for Arianny. Oh, and a guest ring girl: Holly “I slept with Hefner for 7 years and all I got were these boobs” Madison. Her nickname is long, but what she lacks in brevity she makes up for in willingness to wear knee socks all the time. Good job.
Arianny is giving Edith the international sign for “what makes you think I won’t lunge at you with scissors” sign.
Georges St. Pierre v. Thiago Alves
Watching thisvideo should really clear away any doubts anyone has that GSP is not of this world.
(ok, GSP didn’t look that fresh-as-a-daisy; he had a cut above his eye.)
2. The words that come to mind when I hear St. Pierre’s name: “immediate” and “calculating.” He is always ready with a counter, not just after a strike, but immediately after. Like he saw the strike his opponent was going for and had an idea of how he was going to brace and then react before the strike was finished. That is calculating.
3. Plus, besides being great-looking, he is so classy. He has great respect for good fighters, and at the end of the above linked fight, I cried because he was so gracious in his win.
The Brock Lesnar v. Frank Mir co-main event is the second fight I am not really amped about seeing. I am getting to dislike Lesnar moreand more, and some of the shirts Mir wears make my eyes want to vomit, but I’m rooting for Mir in this, though I may be very wrong.
Frank’s fighting facility. Yes, it’s the Mir Space Station. Yes, I’m a dork.
p.s. this post was brought to you by Florence Welch:
Hopefully I have goaded my buddy Echo into doing a Ben vs. Ben-style post for the next UFC match! How ’bout it, Echo?
Not Cleaver, Clever! I decide to make a new alter ego for when the decor and cleaning personality comes out: June Clever!
I have amassed so many ideas, tips and help for around the house I am filling a notebook with it! So I thought I would pass along the most helpful of them with some sort of down-home retro housewife spin!
First off: floors. I love that mine are tile (all the better for lying on when it’s too hot outside to even fry eggs), but man they are a @*^#%*! to scrub clean. I scoured (get it?) all sorts of books, magazines and websites trying to find the simplest and most effective (i.e. most laze-friendly) way to clean them. I stumbled upon the cleanest and greenest way: the magical mix of lemons, baking soda and vinegar!!!
All you need is your trusty box of baking soda (I know you keep a box in the back of your fridge for smells right? Right?), some vinegar, fresh-squeezed lemon juice or a halved lemon, a sturdy scrub brush and some hot water. If you happen to have a gardening cushion for your knees, it makes it a bit easier to clean for longer periods of time.
See that baking soda blurriness? That’s what we in the biz call an ‘action shot.’
Start by sprinkling some baking soda over a small area. You don’t want to bite off more than you can chew, so start small. I like to start with just a square of tile and sprinkle along the grout.
Then pour a small amount of vinegar (not science project amount) and lemon juice, just enough to make a paste.
Then scruuuuuub, and put some elbow grease into it!
It’s really fulfilling to see the dirty black grout turn almost instantly back to white-grey after just a few scrubs. Very encouraging. Rinse the dirties with the hot water.
The only thing is, remember to let it dry, then wipe it down with a damp, not soaking, paper towel to get the leftover baking soda.
Music helps a lot with something like this. I like to put on my super-fast on the go playlist, which has Flight of the Bumblebee type speediness. It keeps your heart rate up and instills a sense of urgency so you don’t get side-tracked. Try it, you’ll see!
Have you ever attempted to scrub your floors Cinderella-style? What worked best?
Well, while enjoying the absolutely amazing weekend (it happened pretty much like I said it would!), I got to go shopping at a new Goodwill in Prescott with my aunts and grandma, and we had a blast! My aunt bought a heavy wooden fish to keep in her truck as a weapon, my cousin got a pinky out robe that eerily almost had her initials embroidered on it, and I got a cool baseball poster for the beau, and THE MOST AWESOME VINTAGE PURSE EVER. I love it so much I was seriously contemplating sleeping with it last night. I might have had perfect buttery brown dreams.
What’s that you say? Forget the talk, let’s see the pictures? well, alright then Miss Impatient, here’s the eye candy:
There is no amount of macro that could show you how amazing this purse is. You will just have to feel it for yourself. If you see me on the street, just come on up and ask me. I will gleefully let you touch The Purse and say, “See? I told Ya!”
p.s. my gnome collection liked it too, just like they approved of my rice krispie treats, in case any of you are keeping tabs of what they enjoy. They did not, however, enjoy the spiders crawling all over them. It was like Burping Betsy.
okay, technically 
perfect for lounging around the house on Sundays, or keepin it cool by rolling a pack of cigs into the sleeve like a 
Oh my goodness, don’t these just scream with possibility? You could dye them to match your favorite purple summer dress, or have your friends write their favorite quotes on them. White=white for not very long in my book!
Bones flips off Irish O’Brien for the last time.
Glenn, my now 2nd favorite Danzig
Bonnar sure does love a good chardonnay while beating people up.
I promise I will not make any “down for the Count” jokes. Okay, maybe one.
Arianny is giving Edith the international sign for “what makes you think I won’t lunge at you with scissors” sign.
Frank’s fighting facility. Yes, it’s the Mir Space Station. Yes, I’m a dork.
See that baking soda blurriness? That’s what we in the biz call an ‘action shot.’
There is no amount of macro that could show you how amazing this purse is. You will just have to feel it for yourself. If you see me on the street, just come on up and ask me. I will gleefully let you touch The Purse and say, “See? I told Ya!”
